My Mum often says that timing is everything. 

Am glad we stopped ourselves. Glad that we realised, even subconsciously, that it wasn’t the right time, somehow knowing that we were ill-prepared for the sweeping changes that would engulf us. 

Glad we stepped away. 

Don’t know if we will meet again in this life, and even still, do not know if it would be any different from the last encounter. Would we be so bold as to move apart once more? 

Meanwhile, am striving to prepare for a future in which we chance meet anew. Is this the nature of falling in future love?

Meanwhile, missing the friendship that would have been, should have been here now.

Have been thinking a lot about falling in future love, turning it over in my heart, mind, gut. Existentially, it's utterly fascinating. Whoever this future love is…can already feel their hand splayed on the small of my back, the heat rising in between, their hair entwined delicately between my fingers, soft reassuring passing by touches and glances, the low murmurs that vibrate and tingle the skin, then sudden and uncontrollable desire spilling everywhere. It is already here, there, three, four, infinite timelines crossing, tethering, clustering, giving rise to the foreshadows of memories. This gives me hope for the things to come, rest assured that this kind of deep love already exists in wait after having, through wavering cadences, taken shape into the consolidations of care, imperishable kindness, belly aching humour. 

The concisions of love that emerge from remembering upon repeat future forming intimacies. 

The kiss that travels. 

The quantum mechanics of a single touch, akin to memories, maybe to all emotions, it can immaterially cross through space and time seamlessly, notably.

Love that we are both so weirdly immature that we cannot exceed the currents of our own sensibilities, emotional habits, relational engagements. 

But the heart and mind are prone to wander, yes?

I am here. We have already been there, confronted with the rude awakening of returns. Do not understand but this vitalising knowledge saturates the body, envelopes the soul. The forefelt future past tense is unfathomably fulfilling and luscious, beyond the limits of our cognitive awareness. 

When we next meet, you may not remember who i am. 

Ah, no worries. None taken.

[Video: Sandy Point, Nassau, Bahamas, Dec. 2023]