A year in the life of a performance artist

In the past year…

learned that ancestral dreams make life matter

snuggled and serenaded a baby seagull

had my heart broken thrice —

1. death of a faithful soulmate

2. fractures in filial trust from a best friend, and in turn shattered his heart too

3. solar flare evaporation of potential intimacy, mutually and decisively so

returned Great-Grandmother to her birthplace

finally understood my lifelong obsession with paper

folded 1000+ cranes

investigated wholeheartedly falling in future love

made a shitload of bentos for people’s travels to their respective destinations

made a shitload of friends, which hopefully will last forever

was reassured by the sound of Mum’s voice

rediscovered my capacity to love with all my heart in the face of sustained adversity and acute mortal fear

composed a new song about 和紙 (more likely, remembered one which had been sung plenty in the remote past) and performed it for a very small audience

piqued the curiosity of a youthful mongoose

was courted by a red cardinal

startled by a ginormous gold-flecked grandfather cockroach, released it outside, and seemingly grateful, bowed its tentacles toward me before scrambling off into the grasses

ran thousands of kilometres

stumbled headlong into an unshakeable depression born out of the betrayal of words and actions of others and due to my own overwhelming naïveté

waved enthusiastically at skittish monkeys who had descended from the bamboo mountain in search of scraps

gleefully danced across the globe with Mitsuo-senpai’s handmade 和紙

acquired a new squirrel dialect

laughed really, really hard thinking about all the idiotic things have said and done in just this year alone

wished Dad were still alive so could watch him smack his forehead with his hand, dumbstruck by my stupidity 

spent a crazy amount of money to make art happen

tried my damnedest to warrant the respect of magpies

was complimented on my whistling (a highly unusual occurrence, most scurry away from the sound), also, whistled a lot

carried an aphid to its intended destination…?

gave away my most treasured possession, a shimmery lime green sapphire

experienced linguistic amnesia, when the english language fell out of my mind and mouth in times of extreme stress

started eating land and bird meats to save my own life

appreciated the diasporic power of music (踊り子 by Vaundy)

lost my fucking mind

leaned into and was succoured by the kindness and generosities of closest relations and strangers alike

moved out on my own to allow for restoration, the basal heart rate of the soul

inspired by brilliant, spirited intellects, began conceptualising 潜〜愛〜潜 feminism

jumped into the creative challenge of shapeshifting love so that no one is left behind

encountered the crossing of parallel universes at 仁淀川

shed enough tears to replenish the pacific

learned how to fly…